No 4 Your Children

I didn’t have much patience or forbearance with my children when they were young. As a very young mother (totally unprepared for parenting) I was kept busy with the two boys and our daughter, the baby of the family. I kept a clean and organized home, cooked, all be it not very well and did my best to keep on top of washing and ironing. I won’t go into the methods and machinery I had at my disposal to keep house. That is for another day.
Whether sweet shop or toy shop, I gave the children maximum 10 minutes to pick what they wanted, otherwise they got nothing. “Hurry up, for goodness sake make your mind up,” was my usual instructions to them. Fortunately, our children were easy pleased and didn’t whine about getting their own way all the time. A squeeze of the hand or the ‘wait till I get you out of this shop look’, sorted that out.
We now have 8 grandchildren and it amazes me how my husband and I have totally changed . When we take them into a sweet or toy shop we can spend an hour easy looking at all the different stuff. ‘Take your time’, lets see what’s on the next floor and do you want to try somewhere else?
What makes the difference I asked myself? Self immediately answered the question.
It’s because of the regrets about time not well spent with our children. You get another chance to do it right with the grandchildren. It’s wonderful and you get to enjoy all the great stuff you missed out on the first time round.
Now if you are a young parent, you can make the change now. You don’t need to wait till the second time around to enjoy your children.
A research company did a survey and asked parents what their biggest regret was. It was not that they spent so little time at work but that they spent so little time with their children. You can’t take ‘stuff’ with you when you die. There is no pockets in a shroud! But you can leave precious memories with your family. Make the time and make memories. Even some of our family disaster holidays are the subject of laughter as we look back.
Another reason we have more patience is that as you mature, you mellow.
I am not as intense as I was when I was a young opinionated woman. I know now that I don’t have all the answers and I am not always right. Close mind you, but not always!
I am more gentle, long suffering, forbearing, peaceful and am a better listener.
I was not the best listener with my children. I would listen with one ear when they were telling me something and usually I was doing something at the same time. My mind was on something totally different.
The result was when they needed something for school I would berate them for leaving it to the last minute.
Of course they had informed me in plenty time but I was not listening.
My husband still accuses me of not listening but he forgets to tell me things!
Have you ever had one of those “I told you ages ago” conversations with your husband?
I wonder how many times he has told me and I wasn’t listening, or he really did forget to tell me.
Perhaps we could practice the art of listening, especially to our children and young people. Think of all the wisdom and experience we could pass on to them if we could gain their ear.
To do that we first have to give them our ear.
Life is daily and tomorrow we get the opportunity to do better.
Just a thought. Nan.